An Ode to Tangibility

diary

Disclaimer: This entry was ‘penned’ over a year ago, but we can stick with the whole 28 years, 1 month and 7 days thing…

When I was younger, I always kept a journal. I actually remember my first Diary, a gift on my 7th or 8th birthday- it was light pink with gold embossing, a lock and key and was likely purchased at my local mini mart/gas station for 3.99.

It contained what seemed like hundreds of small, lined pages in which I could begin to disclose my greatest secrets, free from anyone’s eyes but my own.

I am pretty certain I wrote it in maybe 4 times and each entry was a proclamation of love for either an indifferent classmate or the equally unattainable Joey Lawrence.  WHOA.   I can still see my awkward but eager penmanship scrawled across the pages, indenting the pages to follow with the weight of their words.

There’s a strong likelihood that this relic could still be found somewhere in the archives of my life’s collections as I am known for hanging onto things for years/forever.

I just recently threw away a to go container from one of my first dates with my now husband onto which he had inscribed some romantic sentiment, come to think of it, maybe that didn’t actually make it to the trash can…

At any rate, written word seems especially powerful to me and I have the greatest difficulty parting with anything that involves written statements to or from me.

This means I still have years worth of cards (birthday, Christmas, wedding), countless folded notes from high school friends and lovers (terms used loosely) and embarrassing poems, songs and journal entries dedicated to people or events that I’d rather forget, but, discarding of these moments in history feels like I’m trying to rewrite the story of my life when it’s already been written.

Up until today, age 28, 1 month and 7 days. A husband, career and 2 kids later, I’ve lost touch with those tangible means of self reflection and sharing in a frenzied world where a status update is only a click away. Wanting to create and commit to something more lasting and intimate, I found myself here. And so it begins …

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